I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
