so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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