I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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