U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
