I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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