Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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