bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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