I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
