toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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