I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
