dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
