He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
