Duck Duck Cougar?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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