Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
