thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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