i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
