so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
