Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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