if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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