HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
