to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
