have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
