if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
