so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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