youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
