I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
