if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he fucked my hip out of place.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
