I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
