i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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