I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize