FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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