it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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