When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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