he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
