i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
