she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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