And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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