i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
