You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
