How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
