so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
