So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
