oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
