summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize