I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
