At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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