my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
