Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
