Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
birth control should be required to get into college
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
