i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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