i would punch a child for taco bell
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize