you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
