Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Randomize
