We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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