I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
