we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
