Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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