So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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