Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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