yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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