D3 body, D1 cock
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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