So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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