Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Even my vagina gasped.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
