Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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